The sweetest sound you'll ever hear...

...has yet to be captured on video.

But, trust me. Hearing my little boy babble "ma ma ma ma ma" is the cutest thing in the world.

Hopefully "da da da da da" won't be far behind, as I'm sure Nate is tired of me gloating.

Addiction.

Vanilla iced coffee from McDonald's. Coffee, vanilla creamer, lots of ice, and what I have to assume is crack cocaine.

Don't worry, though. It's not like I have a problem. I mean, I can stop anytime I want to.

(No, I can't. Please help me.)

Status update [what's on your mind?].

When I told my friend Joanna I was taking Calvin to the doctor for his six-month well baby visit yesterday, she said "you'll have to let me know his status." She meant stats, but when you hang out on Facebook all the time, it's easy to slip up.

So, here is his six month status update:

Calvin Breyer is 17.3 pounds and in the 40th percentile for weight.

Calvin Breyer is 27 inches long and in the 75th percentile for height.

Calvin Breyer has a 17.5 inch head circumference, which is in the 50th percentile.

Abby McLaughlin Breyer was delighted to hear she doesn't have to buy a new carseat yet.

Six.

Calvin is cranky.

SUPER SUPER CRANKY. Or at least he was yesterday. It was quite the six month celebration!

I told Nate I thought Calvin was trying to reenact the pain he afflicted upon me at his birth. If that was his goal, he did a good job. Yesterday was plenty painful for me, although this time he did all the screaming.*

(To be honest, I didn't do any screaming at his birth. And there wasn't much pain, either. I had an epidural and slept. Highly recommended.)

Poor baby is teething. He is gnawing on everything within reach — his toys, his hands, the remote, our furniture, his spoon, Nate's nose, my chin. We are going through Tylenol like it's Diet Coke.**

I tried to get a cute picture of him to commemorate the REALLY AWESOME day we had together, but most of what I got looked like this:


















Enter Mattie, the love of his life.



















































Laughing at Mattie does not always end well, to which Calvin's face and Nate's pants can attest.


















Cranky or not (and usually not — hopefully those teeth will come in SOON), this little boy is the joy of my heart. It's been the hardest — but happiest — six months of my life. We love you, Calvin.


















*Except for the screaming in my head. There was quite a bit of that.
**No, that is not a typo. Yes, I know we need to drink more water.

Poke.

It seems I have a secret readership.

From: M. McLaughlin
Subject: Poke
Date: November 12, 2009 9:42:37 PM CST
To: Abby Breyer

Just as one gets poked on Facebook (or Bookface, as they said on The Office), I am poking you on behalf of everyone who is now hooked on your blog. I know you have absolutely no other responsibilities, so it seems reasonable to expect new entertainment to be on your blog at least every other day, if not daily. What's wrong – are you sick or something?

Love, Mom

My question is this: Who are are these blog addicts, and why aren't they leaving me comments? As far as I can tell, I have about six people reading this thing. Supply and demand, my friends. If you want more, I need to hear from you. You don't have to think of anything witty to say, you can just say hi, or tell me how cute my baby is (very, don't you think?), or point out my inconsistent use of serial commas (I have to use them for work but don't like them myself and it's all very confusing). An occasional note would be delightful. Even one comment just to say "I'm here!" would suffice. Anything to let me know you're out there, and you're reading.

And then maybe, maybe, I will feel inspired to post with more frequency. Which shouldn't be difficult because — as you know — I have no other responsibilities.

Thanks, Mom.

Candy.

Unlike other major holidays — Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving — the true meaning of Halloween is easy to understand, even at an early age.