Dustup.

You know what makes for a hot mess? Chalk.

Dude, chalk is messy. And dusty. Here's a tip: don't try to wipe chalk dust off wood furniture with a wet cloth. The resulting white chalk paste smeared all over your wood furniture is next to impossible to remove. Just blow that crap off onto the floor and hope the vacuum gets it.*

Helpful cleaning tips from Abby, certified professional homemaker! You're welcome. 

Anyway. Wondering why all the talk about chalk?

Well, I finally got around to one of those home projects I've been blathering on/doing nothing about for the last six months: a chalkboard in my dining room.

First off, I know. A chalkboard is not standard dining room fare. But let's review my goals for this redecorating initiative, shall we?

- Colorful
- Kid-friendly
- More "me"
- Cheap

What screams "color" or "me" more than a chalkboard?

Well, lots of things, since chalkboards are black and I haven't used one in 20+ years. But I loved the idea of having a focal point that could be updated regularly, changed seasonally, and used for fun family-friendly things like quotes, scripture, game night score-keeping, party menus, birthday greetings, etc.

I found my inspiration on Pinterest:

Paint the glass of a Goodwill picture with chalkboard paint and hang it. Great in theory, harder in practice. Our buffet is pretty wide, and I wanted to fill most of the space above it. I searched high and low for something that would work, but couldn't find a frame that was large enough. So, my plan changed: paint the wall and draw a frame around it with chalk.

At this point I will confess to having ZERO drawing skills. Fine motor is not my bag, though I like to keep torturing myself with projects that involve tiny details. Thank heavens I go to Goodwill regularly and stumbled upon this hunk of junk before remembering I have no skills and attempting to draw myself a frame:

 

Yep, a gigantic bulletin board falling out of its frame. You know what they say: another elementary school's trash is some crazy lady's treasure! It wasn't the ornate frame I envisioned, but I knew it would work just fine. Especially once I got it painted. Because, you know...color.

We hung the frame, traced it, taped it off, and painted it with five coats of chalkboard paint. Good thing chalkboard paint dries quickly, because it turns out I have no patience.

During the brief period of drying time/frantic pacing, I spray-painted my frame a gorgeous mustard yellow. I loved the way it looked drying on my garage floor and was so excited to hang it up.

Wah wah wah.

It looked terrible. Granted, this is a terrible picture of it in terrible lighting, but I guess that's good because it kind of expresses the terribleness of that color against my walls.

Yuck.

I tried to like it. I thought maybe I just needed to push myself, because change is hard for me and it can take me a while to adjust to the idea of something new. So we sat it there for a bit and then I said to Nate "It's not right. Do you think it's right? It can't be right. What do you think? I just don't know, but I'm pretty sure it's not right."

I'll spare you the details of what turned into a riveting spousal discussion.**

Nate (eventually) agreed that it wasn't right, but I think he was willing to keep it if it meant him not having to deal with my incessant questions or another round of painting indecision. But the perfectionist in me won just as it should, and the following weekend I repainted it white.
 

NOW it's right.

I know, I know...a black chalkboard with a white frame does not really meet the colorful criteria. It's the exact opposite of colorful. But it's kid-friendly, and it's definitely me. Plus the neutral frame means I can do a lot with my lamps and other accessories. In addition to clashing terribly with my walls, that yellow would have tied me to a very specific color palette. Repainting was a good decision.

So, there's a chalkboard in my dining room. And next to it, some lamps that look awful. But don't worry — I have plans for those.

Whether or not I will carry out those plans before 2021, well that's the question.

--

* Somewhere Martha is having a heart attack, but I'm pretty sure she has people to deal with her white chalk paste disasters, whereas I just have me and a dollar store "magic eraser."***

** Argument.

***The quotes are because it's probably not called a magic eraser at the dollar store. It's most likely called a wizard sponge or delete-a-mark pad or something equally stupid. But man if they don't work just as well at a fraction of the price. I make an extra stop for those suckers. And the "floor dusting sheets" aka swiffer cloths.