Dustup.

You know what makes for a hot mess? Chalk.

Dude, chalk is messy. And dusty. Here's a tip: don't try to wipe chalk dust off wood furniture with a wet cloth. The resulting white chalk paste smeared all over your wood furniture is next to impossible to remove. Just blow that crap off onto the floor and hope the vacuum gets it.*

Helpful cleaning tips from Abby, certified professional homemaker! You're welcome. 

Anyway. Wondering why all the talk about chalk?

Well, I finally got around to one of those home projects I've been blathering on/doing nothing about for the last six months: a chalkboard in my dining room.

First off, I know. A chalkboard is not standard dining room fare. But let's review my goals for this redecorating initiative, shall we?

- Colorful
- Kid-friendly
- More "me"
- Cheap

What screams "color" or "me" more than a chalkboard?

Well, lots of things, since chalkboards are black and I haven't used one in 20+ years. But I loved the idea of having a focal point that could be updated regularly, changed seasonally, and used for fun family-friendly things like quotes, scripture, game night score-keeping, party menus, birthday greetings, etc.

I found my inspiration on Pinterest:

Paint the glass of a Goodwill picture with chalkboard paint and hang it. Great in theory, harder in practice. Our buffet is pretty wide, and I wanted to fill most of the space above it. I searched high and low for something that would work, but couldn't find a frame that was large enough. So, my plan changed: paint the wall and draw a frame around it with chalk.

At this point I will confess to having ZERO drawing skills. Fine motor is not my bag, though I like to keep torturing myself with projects that involve tiny details. Thank heavens I go to Goodwill regularly and stumbled upon this hunk of junk before remembering I have no skills and attempting to draw myself a frame:

 

Yep, a gigantic bulletin board falling out of its frame. You know what they say: another elementary school's trash is some crazy lady's treasure! It wasn't the ornate frame I envisioned, but I knew it would work just fine. Especially once I got it painted. Because, you know...color.

We hung the frame, traced it, taped it off, and painted it with five coats of chalkboard paint. Good thing chalkboard paint dries quickly, because it turns out I have no patience.

During the brief period of drying time/frantic pacing, I spray-painted my frame a gorgeous mustard yellow. I loved the way it looked drying on my garage floor and was so excited to hang it up.

Wah wah wah.

It looked terrible. Granted, this is a terrible picture of it in terrible lighting, but I guess that's good because it kind of expresses the terribleness of that color against my walls.

Yuck.

I tried to like it. I thought maybe I just needed to push myself, because change is hard for me and it can take me a while to adjust to the idea of something new. So we sat it there for a bit and then I said to Nate "It's not right. Do you think it's right? It can't be right. What do you think? I just don't know, but I'm pretty sure it's not right."

I'll spare you the details of what turned into a riveting spousal discussion.**

Nate (eventually) agreed that it wasn't right, but I think he was willing to keep it if it meant him not having to deal with my incessant questions or another round of painting indecision. But the perfectionist in me won just as it should, and the following weekend I repainted it white.
 

NOW it's right.

I know, I know...a black chalkboard with a white frame does not really meet the colorful criteria. It's the exact opposite of colorful. But it's kid-friendly, and it's definitely me. Plus the neutral frame means I can do a lot with my lamps and other accessories. In addition to clashing terribly with my walls, that yellow would have tied me to a very specific color palette. Repainting was a good decision.

So, there's a chalkboard in my dining room. And next to it, some lamps that look awful. But don't worry — I have plans for those.

Whether or not I will carry out those plans before 2021, well that's the question.

--

* Somewhere Martha is having a heart attack, but I'm pretty sure she has people to deal with her white chalk paste disasters, whereas I just have me and a dollar store "magic eraser."***

** Argument.

***The quotes are because it's probably not called a magic eraser at the dollar store. It's most likely called a wizard sponge or delete-a-mark pad or something equally stupid. But man if they don't work just as well at a fraction of the price. I make an extra stop for those suckers. And the "floor dusting sheets" aka swiffer cloths.

Two weeks in.

I would just like to take a moment to point out that I've made seven meals over the course of the last two weeks. That's like a 95% increase in meal making. Or something. Who knows, I don't do math. But I didn't cook before either so maybe next I should do a math challenge?

Anyways, I am loving it. Besides a few planned meals out, we've eaten at home. No takeout, no peanut butter and jelly, no making last-minute stops at the store. Just real, homemade dinner using ingredients we have on hand. Like a normal family.

I'm so proud of myself.

(And probably a few pounds heavier. I really love macaroni and cheese.)

A good mom.

I think every mom has to define "good" for themselves, and their families — based on priorities, circumstances, abilities, interests, time constraints, family size, and a plethora of other considerations.

For many, being a good mom probably involves having dinner on the table every night at 6pm sharp, making sure the kids are bathed daily, and having everyone's clean clothes neatly put away on a weekly basis.

Yeah, not me. I'm more of a "sure you can play outside for an extra 20 minutes before bed, I'll just rub you down with a baby wipe to give the illusion of cleanliness" kind of mom.

And you know what? I'm okay with that. My kid is happy and healthy and so far hasn't shown any signs of severe emotional disturbance from maternal neglect (saving it up for his future therapist, I'm sure). Plus we almost always have clean clothes...even if they rarely get folded. (Downy wrinkle releaser, folks. It will change your life. Take it from the girl who used to iron her jeans.)

While I may not be the most organized parent, I think I do a pretty decent job of caring for my family. However, there is one area where I fall down. Big time. And that area is cooking.

Like so many things (dental exams, going to the post office, showering), I love the results but HAAAAATE the process. The last thing I want to do after working all day is come home and cook dinner. Maybe it's because I'm lazy, maybe it's because I'm a sucky cook, probably it's both. All I know is that for the past two years my child has eaten way too many hot dogs and I would be completely lost without Steamfresh vegetables.

Sadly, pretty much everything I make that isn't a microwaved hot dog involves chicken, instant rice, and cream of something or another soup. Ick. That isn't good for me and it isn't good for Calvin. I don't want my kids raised by a mom who relies on packaged foods and the microwave for dinner. I didn't grow up that way, and neither did Nate.

So, my friends. I have given myself a challenge this month. And that challenge is cooking dinner. Real, honest-to-goodness dinner (and a few fun things for breakfast and dessert).

No hot dogs. No macaroni and cheese from a box. No cereal. (Because cereal comes after dinner. About 9pm. It's my late night pregnancy snack.)

I'm starting small — and realistically — with a meal plan. Last week I began gathering recipes that sounded good, and on Sunday I sat down and planned out our meals for the week. For the next month, I am going to post my meal plan for the week on Sunday. And then, if things turn out well, I'll share the recipes with you. And if they don't, I'll share my failures with you. Not only will this provide me with some much-needed accountability, it will hopefully give you some inspiration in the kitchen — or at least a few new recipes to try at home.

Keep in mind that I work full-time and am a novice cook, so none of these recipes will be overly involved or earth shatteringly fancy. And some may involve cream of something or another soup, but I'm going to try to limit those recipes to nights when Nate's working and I have to make quick, kid-friendly meals.

So, that's the plan. Me. Cooking dinner. For a month. Like a good mom.

Hope you're ready to laugh.