The wave.

Wait for it...



And yes, I am the worst videographer in the entire world. Nice camera cord, huh?

Happy pancake.

All smiles after his first pancake breakfast.


















Glad to see my love of carbs has been passed down to the next generation.

The Break-Up.

Much like Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn in that slightly annoying movie where he gets her three lemons (baby wanted 12), I am going through a break up.

It's difficult for me to talk about, but if I've learned anything from The Biggest Loser (other than Tuesday nights are a great time to eat ice cream while watching tv), it's that talking through your pain shows strength.

So, here goes.

American Idol and I have called it quits.

It was amicable. I simply told American Idol that while I have enjoyed our time together, I didn't see a future for us and felt that I needed to move on. And then I waited for American Idol to cry, to protest, to beg me to watch again this season.

You guys, American Idol DIDN'T EVEN CARE. After five years together, American Idol didn't shed a single tear for the end of our relationship. In fact, American Idol didn't do anything except move on to its first round of televised auditions.

Are you kidding me? Even when the worst relationships end there's a mourning period — especially for the dumpee! Unless, of course, the dumpee knows the dumper is just being silly and trying to leave even though there's no possible way the dumper is actually going to be strong enough to do it because the dumpee is totally irresistible and the dumper has no willpower when it comes to the charms of the dumpee. Which is obviously not the case here, because I have absolutely no intention of going back to American Idol.

Yes, I did turn it on for a few minutes last week to see Posh Spice judge. But it's POSH - I couldn't possibly pass up the chance to see her cut some poor fool to shreds. Or smile on camera.

And I may have switched to Fox for a few minutes last night, but only because there was nothing else on. Really, nothing. Slim pickings.

But that doesn't mean anything. I am done with American Idol. D-O-N-E. It's a stupid time suck and I don't care about those people or their indulgent performances and poor song choices. I'd rather spend my valuable time watching something truly awesome, like Modern Family or Glee.

Although it took me about a week to figure out what the heck pants on the ground was. I guess if I'd watched American Idol I would have been part of the nationwide joke instead of a social misfit.

Plus I really really love Ellen DeGeneres, so I will probably have to tune in occasionally to see what she has to say.

And Glee isn't on again until April...

Oh, crap.

We are so not over.

Eight month adventures.

Now that Calvin is on the move, life has become a series of adventures. Adventures in...

Crawling.













Standing.

















Playing. (Yup, that's Mattie's.)

















And even sleeping.

















I'm not sure there are enough antibacterial wipes in the world to get us through this stage.

Squeaky. And also clean.

Date night.

Calvin had his first sleepover at Grandma and Grandpa's Friday night, which meant we had our first night alone in almost eight months.

We went to dinner! By ourselves! At 8pm! Somewhere nice!

I felt we should commemorate this momentous occasion with a photo.

Here we are post-dinner — tired, happy and very (very) full. And Nate's wearing an acorn pin because, really, what's a night out without an acorn pin?

Don't ask, because I really don't know. But it sure made me laugh.

This and that and this and that.

So there's that, plus now there's this:



But luckily that usually ends in this:

Do (did) they know it's (was) Christmastime at all (you know, back in 2009)?

I hate that song. But it seems appropriate here, since I haven't posted any pictures of my kid's first Christmas (er, first three Christmases), and I'm sure you're wondering whether we skipped it altogether this (uh, last) year.

We did not. I am just lazy and would rather post short quips about mildly offensive Gap emails than sit down and sort through the hundreds of pictures taken at a major holiday. But a good mommy blogger would do that (and there's nothing I want more than to become a good mommy blogger...ideally so good that I can quit my job and write sarcastic, long-winded blog posts about whatever pops into my tired mommy brain and make money doing so), so I now offer you many, many pictures proving that we did, indeed, know it was Christmas, and we celebrated accordingly.

In this instance, "accordingly" means Calvin was spoiled rotten by his grandparents and aunts/uncles. He is now the proud owner of many cool new toys, many cute new outfits, and enough Bears and Vikings (and Twins, and Wild) gear to get him through the next few seasons of confusion over which teams he actually supports.

McLaughlin Family Christmas:











Our Family Christmas:











Breyer Family Christmas:

Mother of the year.

Huh.
Guess I should have put gloves on my kid this morning.