The days in between.

Happily ever after is not a fairy tale. It’s a choice. - Fawn Weaver

Eight years ago, I stood in front of a green-eyed boy and promised to love, honor, and cherish him. During the good, during the bad, and during all the days in between.

There have been so many good days these last eight years. And there have been a couple of pretty bad ones. But, mostly, there have been all the days in between. The days when nothing remarkable happens. Days when we just go through the motions of life, bogged down by the monotony of working and parenting and doing dishes.

Why are there always so many dishes?

Today, on our anniversary, we are having grilled cheese for dinner. A repairman is coming to fix our dryer, and one of us will take Calvin to swimming lessons. If ever there was a day in between, today would be it.

But that's life. And marriage. Some beautiful highs, some terrible lows, and a lot of days in between.

There are days when I stand in awe of my husband and my children and the beauty of my life. When every touch and laugh and snuggle feels darned near magical and I sit there and breathe it in and wonder how in heaven's name I got so lucky. And there are days when I suck at my job and yell at my kids and snap at my husband and just want to go to bed. Alone.

When I married Nate, I didn't think much about the days in between. I knew what I was signing up for, sort of. A lifetime of loving and cherishing someone whom I already loved and cherished. How hard could that be? But I didn't yet realize that there would be seasons of life when, despite abundant blessings, it would be a struggle just to do what needs to be done in a day — nevermind all the loving and cherishing.

A few months ago, I had a bit of a psychotic break. I was on my hands and knees plucking random toys out from wads of dog hair under the couch, and I collapsed in hysterical laughter. Nate, who had been doing the dishes for what I'm sure felt like the 800th time that day, came in to see what was so funny and I just started yelling "I am done. I am just so done! THIS IS SO BORING! All I do is pick up toys and get kids ready for school and go to work and pick kids up and feed them and bathe them and put them to bed and I AM SO BORED." And then Nate started laughing and pulled me up off the floor and we stood there and laughed and hugged and then laughed some more because it's true and there's nothing we can do about it.

Except choose to love and cherish each other anyway.

Even in the midst of boredom, of chaos, of dust bunnies and anniversaries celebrated with swimming lessons and grilled cheese. 

Even when we don't really feel like it.

We can choose to keep the promise we made to each other and to God on that beautiful spring day eight years ago. To love, to honor, to cherish. In good times and in bad.

And especially on those days in between.