Turning point.

My children both sleep through the night.

Regularly.

Well, mostly.

Today Audra got up at 4:30am so Nate brought her into our bed, where she kneed me in the eye and dropped my iPhone on my head. But at least I got a solid 6.5 in before that happened.

Also, we're almost all well again, after a solid month + of illness. I'm on four medications and I'm still not wearing eye makeup for fear of ruining the brand new mascara I just purchased with the last miniscule trace of pinkeye, but we're getting there.

So, what's my point, you ask?

I CAN BREATHE.

I'm not nursing anymore. I'm not rocking a baby to sleep at all hours of the night. I'm not up to my elbows in blowouts and running around work with spitup on my shoulder or breastmilk leaking through my shirt.

Suddenly, and without warning, balance has been restored in our home. We're no longer sleep-deprived slaves to a newborn. Audra is going on 14 months. She's walking, eating, sleeping. Like a real toddler! Calvin gets more self-sufficient (and impossible, but that's another story for another time) every day. Nate and I have a normal M-F work schedule and free weekends. We're meal planning and getting laundry done and our house is cleaned top to bottom once every two weeks (by someone else, mind you...but that requires planning and effort and still counts). We have date nights and friend nights and I'm volunteering at my kids' school.

I can breathe. 

I remember this happening after we had Calvin, too. One day I just woke up and thought — it's over. The chaos of a new baby is behind us. We're in a groove, we're well-rested, and we can get on with life.

I'm guessing we all came down with stomach flu or something similar right after that, but still — it was a pretty major turning point.

We've reached that same turning point as a family of four now, and as much I loved loved loved baby Audra and have no flipping idea where the last 14 months went, I love toddler Audra even more. And not-quite-four-year-old Calvin is probably my favorite of his ages so far (impossibilities aside). They are both totally fun and cute and delightful right now. And our life is no longer dictated by two naps a day and whether or not I remembered to bring a bottle and a burp cloth. Parenting two little kids is still completely chaotic, of course. But at the core, our life, our family, is much, much calmer.

I can breathe.

Which means it's time for me to find a little time for me. For the things I love — writing, baking, fashion, crafting, decorating. (And probably for working out, which I do not love but need to do anyway.)

There is nothing in life I treasure more than my family, than my role as wife and mom to these precious loves of mine. Pouring myself out to them is one of my greatest joys. But to be good to them — really good, in the ways they deserve — I have to be good to myself as well.

So, I guess my real point is that after nearly two years of posting nothing but pictures and captions, I have some fun things planned...for my life, and for this blog.

I can breathe again. And it feels good.

Freeze frame.

Can you tell it was 30 degrees outside, my children were miserable, snot-nosed and near tears, and this shoot only lasted about 20 minutes before we called it off due to bitter wind?

No? Well, that's thanks to our friend Bill, who is the best sport on earth. And a super talented photographer as well. I expected these to look like a hot (ahem, cold) mess given the severity of the weather, but he captured some really cute moments.

Next year we're taking family pictures in June. Maybe Audra will be into smiling by then?

Golf widow.

1. I'm on my own for the first half of the week. Nate's on his annual golf trip — aka four days of golf, sun, beer, steak, gambling and general male debauchery with a group of really good, decent, trustworthy, attractive and well-behaved guys who likely don't read my blog so I should probably quit threatening them via thinly veiled compliments.

Y'all better behave yourselves. And wear sunblock.

2. I made chocolate chip cookies last night with Crisco because I was out of butter (When do I ever run out of butter? Never, that's when.). I tell you what — Crisco is about to become a cookie making staple in our house. Soft, chewy perfection. I don't think I've ever made a thing with Crisco in my life, and I wouldn't have even had it on hand except I was making a recipe a while back that called for Oleo and I had no idea what that was so I bought Crisco. Turns out everyone but me knows about Oleo. How?

3. I started playing Words With Friends at the urging of my friend Lisa, who was in town visiting for the weekend. Two days in, and I'm just a little obsessed. I'm also playing two games with people I thought were my mother and aren't, which makes the messages I sent them a little awkward. Look me up if you're playing (Katie, Emily): absadabs79. I'm not very good.

4. Things that also happened during Lisa's visit: a pedicure, dinner, and a trip to Crate and Barrel. I got a cute dishtowel (A dishtowel? Me? Weird, I know. One of these days I'll have to do a post dedicated to my dishtowel collection.) and a set of popsicle molds. Apparently the molds were selling like crazy all day on Saturday. I'm not sure whether it was the nostalgia factor (didn't everyone have the Tupperware set growing up?) or the 100+ temps, but I just had to have them. And at $12.95, they were quite the deal. I threw some strawberry yogurt and raspberries in one yesterday afternoon and gave it to Calvin after dinner. Genius, really. He thinks something we would have given him for dinner anyways is dessert. Haha! This must be how people who cook out of that Jessica Seinfeld book feel. I actually have that cookbook, but I can't even find the time to make regular non-deceptive recipes for my family right now, so...eh.

5. Nate told me the other day that things are about to get funny at our house. And he was right.

"Where are the dirty diapers? Where are they?" "They're in the garbage, Cal." "No, they're not! They're right here, on my body!" (Pats rear end) "I've got a dirty diaper right here!"

"Where's my Lightning McQueen? I need it, please! It's in the car. You will have to go get it outside in the car. And you will have to go downstairs and put your shoes on and go get it in the car."

"That was a big yawn. A real big yawn. Where'd it go, Mama?" "What, your yawn? I don't know, Calvin." "I do! It ran away in my mouth!"

6. Sad news: Hot Mama is phasing out their maternity line. Lucky for me this is my last (planned) pregnancy, and I've been able to get some really cute things for some very good deals. Of course I use the phrase "good deals" loosely, as the first time I shopped at Hot Mama (back when I was pregnant with Calvin) I went in with a $100 gift card and came out with three shirts and a receipt for $250. Yikes. The damage was nowhere near that bad this time (thanks to another $100 giftcard from Nate), but it easily could have been. My self control continues to get better with time...kind of.

7. Also on the maternity shopping front: Motherhood's selection has improved significantly. Just in case you were wondering.

8. We find out the sex of this baby on August 19. I can't wait. Mainly because I'm pretty sure it's a boy and yet I can't stop looking at girl bedding, girl names, girl clothes. I need someone to snap me out of this dreamy phase and bring me back down to earth because I soooo doubt that's going to happen and I need to get serious about decorating and naming this more than likely male child. Naming the second kid is going to be much harder, I think. We may have to go with my mom's suggestion of Hobbes.

9. Rizzoli and Isles is back on. Or Fazoli and Breadstick, as Nate calls it. I love that show. Actually, I think I just love Angie Harmon. Either way, add that to my list of mindless summer entertainment along with SYTYCD and Project Runway (Thursday, hooray!). We're also watching Mad Men, which is not at all mindless but is very very entertaining. Especially if you, like me, work in the advertising industry, wax romantic about eras gone by, and have the major hots for Jon Hamm. And, less obviously, John Slattery.

10. Speaking of eras gone by: Midnight in Paris. Loved it. And now I'm thinking I need to have myself a little Woody Allen movie marathon.

11. Also, I'm mad that I haven't gotten to Harry Potter yet. This is the first time I have ever wanted to go to a midnight premiere and I'm too old, too pregnant, and too employed to stay up that late on a weeknight. Boo. Nate and I have an AMC giftcard burning a hole in our pockets and that sucker is getting used up. SOON.

12. Finally, I am 16 weeks today. Time for a belly picture. Since Nate's away and the first belly shot I posted of me pregnant with Calvin was also at 16 weeks, I slipped into the supply closet at work and took this beauty in the full-length mirror. They aren't kidding about that whole showing a lot earlier with the second baby business. Which probably explains my boss' reaction to the news: "Yeah, I thought so."


See what happens when Nate's away, even for a night? I have a lot to say and no one to listen and so I write really random and long-winded blog posts. Lucky you. :)

January 2.

A happy new year, indeed.

We are thrilled.

And terrified.

But mostly thrilled.

We can't wait to meet you, precious little one.