Turning point.

My children both sleep through the night.

Regularly.

Well, mostly.

Today Audra got up at 4:30am so Nate brought her into our bed, where she kneed me in the eye and dropped my iPhone on my head. But at least I got a solid 6.5 in before that happened.

Also, we're almost all well again, after a solid month + of illness. I'm on four medications and I'm still not wearing eye makeup for fear of ruining the brand new mascara I just purchased with the last miniscule trace of pinkeye, but we're getting there.

So, what's my point, you ask?

I CAN BREATHE.

I'm not nursing anymore. I'm not rocking a baby to sleep at all hours of the night. I'm not up to my elbows in blowouts and running around work with spitup on my shoulder or breastmilk leaking through my shirt.

Suddenly, and without warning, balance has been restored in our home. We're no longer sleep-deprived slaves to a newborn. Audra is going on 14 months. She's walking, eating, sleeping. Like a real toddler! Calvin gets more self-sufficient (and impossible, but that's another story for another time) every day. Nate and I have a normal M-F work schedule and free weekends. We're meal planning and getting laundry done and our house is cleaned top to bottom once every two weeks (by someone else, mind you...but that requires planning and effort and still counts). We have date nights and friend nights and I'm volunteering at my kids' school.

I can breathe. 

I remember this happening after we had Calvin, too. One day I just woke up and thought — it's over. The chaos of a new baby is behind us. We're in a groove, we're well-rested, and we can get on with life.

I'm guessing we all came down with stomach flu or something similar right after that, but still — it was a pretty major turning point.

We've reached that same turning point as a family of four now, and as much I loved loved loved baby Audra and have no flipping idea where the last 14 months went, I love toddler Audra even more. And not-quite-four-year-old Calvin is probably my favorite of his ages so far (impossibilities aside). They are both totally fun and cute and delightful right now. And our life is no longer dictated by two naps a day and whether or not I remembered to bring a bottle and a burp cloth. Parenting two little kids is still completely chaotic, of course. But at the core, our life, our family, is much, much calmer.

I can breathe.

Which means it's time for me to find a little time for me. For the things I love — writing, baking, fashion, crafting, decorating. (And probably for working out, which I do not love but need to do anyway.)

There is nothing in life I treasure more than my family, than my role as wife and mom to these precious loves of mine. Pouring myself out to them is one of my greatest joys. But to be good to them — really good, in the ways they deserve — I have to be good to myself as well.

So, I guess my real point is that after nearly two years of posting nothing but pictures and captions, I have some fun things planned...for my life, and for this blog.

I can breathe again. And it feels good.