Love it and list it.

1. I'm wearing red skinny pants today. I think I love them. Can't speak for anyone else, however, as I am not skinny and they might not love seeing me in them. But I did go the extra mile and cover my rear end with a tunic, so hopefully that helps keep most of the "ew why is she wearing those pants" thoughts/comments at bay. Anyway, red pants offer a nice bit of cheer on a dark and dreary day. Even if they draw more attention to my "assets" than the general public would prefer.

2. Said tunic is this year's Target special and you should all get on it because they go fast. I snagged last year's version too late and ended up with a color I would not have otherwise chosen but it is dang hard to find tunics if you don't shop at Chicos. And I missed the previous year's version altogether which makes me want to cry a little because it had front pockets. Do you know how much I love a good front pocket? Last year's version had side pockets that came out when I walked (this probably doesn't happen to girls without a chip and dip hobby) and this year's version has no pockets. Next year's version may not even have sleeves, since it seems to be losing a little bit of fabric every year, so I would highly recommend you strolling through the Merona section and picking up one or five of these suckers…particularly if you own red pants and need the coverage.

3. If you noticed a frizzy blonde girl in a black minivan singing her heart out on the way to work, it was probably because of Sara Bareilles's The Blessed Unrest. I. am. in. love. This album, seriously. Every time I hear Little Black Dress I want to get up and sing into a curling iron and dance around. Which is awkward, since I listen to it a lot at work.

4. Audie stayed home sick with Nate today, and when I got ready to leave she came over put her arms up and said "I hold you?" My little Calvin used to say that exact thing and to this day it is one of my very favorite phrases either of my children has uttered. I wanted to cry, but instead I just scooped up that little muffin and hugged her so so so tight. And then she kissed me on the lips and I got in the car and smeared hand sanitizer on my mouth because I HATE BEING SICK and they don't make antibacterial lip gloss.

It did not taste good. But it tasted better than puke, which is the alternative. And probably the reality even after the hand sanitizer lip scrub because I have a knack for getting whatever they get. 

5. On the subject of kissing, Audra honks our nose after every kiss. And says "honk." She's real cute.

6. I've had my first, second, and third pumpkin spice latte of the season. Our freezer is stocked with various homemade breads and I'm going to make soup this weekend. It's officially fall. Time to break out the panel pants and settle in for eating season!

(Don't make that face. I know I'm not the only person who hung on to those post-pregnancy.)

7. Trying to decide what my fall fashion must-haves are. After attending a few runway shows with my friend Jo last week (it was Minnesota Fashion Week. Stop laughing.), I know for sure that I need an ankle-length octopus sweatshirt, a feather headdress, and an oversized hospital robe. And maybe some oxfords, since women wearing clunky men's shoes is a trend I just can't get enough of.

The highlight of the night was definitely when a frumpy middle-aged teacher asked us where we got our shoes and we were able to coolly answer "Payless" and "Aerosoles."

Those two responses summarize Minnesota Fashion Week better than a photo ever could.

8. I think I'm going to grow my hair out. I don't know why, except I miss the option of having a messy bun and I'm tired of haircuts that grow out too fast because I don't have time to get them as frequently as needed.

Nevermind. I guess I do know why. SLOTH.

9. Let me know if you're watching anything new that you really love this season. We didn't add much to our repertoire. Nate's watching The Blacklist, we're both watching Brooklyn Nine Nine (not sure how long that will be amusing), and I kinda liked the pilot for Mom, but haven't watched a second episode. I also gave The Mindy Project another shot and I'm glad I did. So funny. But I need to know if I'm missing anything great. Besides Scandal and Parks and Rec. And please don't recommend the Big Bang Theory because I do not get nerd humor, math, science, or the appeal of that show.

10. My kids are obsessed with their Bibles. We finished reading The Jesus Storybook Bible with Calvin last week, but he's still requesting it every night before bed. I will gladly read that with him every night from now until forever because I love that he's soaking up truth and also because it means I don't have to read Dr. Seuss. (I am such a scrooge.) Also, Audra's little My First Read and Learn Bible is a bedtime staple. She likes to point out Noah. And say "Bible." Upwards of eight hundred times per day.

Nothing like a toddler running around shouting "Bible" to make you feel like you've done something right.

Accessory.

Like any well-dressed woman, Audra knows the secret to looking good is accessorizing.

Eh, we'll keep working on it.

Fair people.

There is no people watching better than state fair people watching. Crazy hair, unflattering clothes, dirty kids. Upper thigh tattoos of tiger cubs nestled in a patch of grass.

You know, the usual.

I always assumed those people looked like that year-round. Until I looked at my own family on our way out the door to the fair.

Calvin was wearing a mismatched outfit, too-small shoes, and too-short shorts, because he likes to dress himself now. Nate was wearing a blue golf polo with his yellow and black gym shoes because comfort is important when you're walking that much. Audra was wearing a sunhat about eight sizes too small because I left her other one at school. And I was wearing a skirt. With tennis shoes. Because...well, I have no flipping idea.

Obviously this is the fair's fault. The fair made me think it was acceptable to dress up like a tennis player and allow my children to go out in public looking homeless. The fair made me eat kettle corn and mini donuts and cheese fries and a turkey sandwich and a sno cone. The fair, darnit, turned ME into someone for other people to watch.

So, new theory. The fair turns normal people into fair people. All those folks with crazy hair and upper thigh tattoos? Yeah, I'll bet they probably spend the other 364 days of the year well-coiffed and dressed in J.Crew. 

Mom. Seriously. The hat. Get it off.

Kettle C(K?)orn!

Kettle C(K?)orn in the back of a tractor!

Mini donuts!

Giant slide!

We have NEVER seen him more excited. He was jumping up and down yelling "YES! YESSS!" when I took this picture.

Post-slide high!

Crazy hair resulting from too-small hat!

Sno Cones!

Diggers and kid!

Diggers and kids!

Fair people! (A keeper for sure)

Brain dump.

After having taken most of the summer off from blogging — excluding some lazy posts consisting solely of cute pictures of my kids — you'd better believe I have a few things to throw your way.

It's list time, yo.

(Anyone else follow that up with some sort of 90s "doot doot doot doot, doot doot doot" beat? No? Yeah, me neither.)

1. I've found the perfect shoe. Made by Aerosoles. I don't know if this makes me an old lady or if this makes me brilliant because it is both perfect AND comfortable, but I don't really care. It took me a couple of years, but I am finally wearing an inexpensive wedge sandal that fits my wide foot and goes with everything.

I really I hope I have the same luck when I begin my upcoming search for tall, flat, cognac leather boots. The mere thought of this search stresses me out. Darn you, bunions.*

2. One of the downfalls to our new schedule is going to be TV. In that neither of us will be able to watch whatever we want on it. I've only had to share the remote 1-2 evenings a week for the past decade, so this every night business is going to take some getting used to. Nate is currently engrossed in Breaking Bad; I am obsessed with Downton Abbey. Neither of us has interest in the other. Luckily, we share an affinity for Friday Night Lights, which we've just gotten back into after kind of forgetting about it. But what are we going to do this fall? Nate doesn't want to watch Law & Order: SVU or Grey's Anatomy (oh, Lexie!) and I don't want to watch Monday Night Football or Hell's Kitchen. I suppose we could create some sort of TV watching schedule. Or, you know, turn off the tv and talk to each other.

Eh. Probably the schedule.

3. You should make this salad. It appears to make a TON (truly, I wasn't sure how I was going to mix it, even in my enormous mixing bowl) but turns out after you go back for seconds, thirds, and sevenths, there's really not that much left.

4. I have an odd fascination with colored pants right now. I feel like I want some, but I also feel like they would look horrible on me. And that I'd never wear them because of the horribleness. I am typically pretty willing to take a chance on new trends (see: capri pants, spring 1999), yet I am waffling a bit on this one. But how cute would a pair of pink or red cropped pants be with a jean jacket and black flats? HMMM.

Stay tuned. And if I do show up anywhere wearing pink or red pants, please be kind despite the almost certain horribleness. Points should always be given for fashion bravery, friends. Always. Unless we're talking Chloe Sevigny, who is not so much brave as she is blind. At least I assume that's the case, as there's really no other explanation.

5. Guess who's coming back to town? Guess who has tickets to see him? And guess who didn't have to call her husband to see if he could request time off work so she could go because starting Monday he will be home in the evening?!

I feel like that wasn't a very difficult quiz, but the answers are 1) Joshua Radin 2) Me (and my friend Barbara) and 2) Me

What are the odds I'll have pinkeye again? (Probably pretty good seeing as I'll soon have two germy daycare kids.)

6. I ordered a headband from this Etsy shop for Audra. It. Is. ADORABLE. Moms of girls, take note.

7. You may or may not know this about me, but I hate the Olympics. I have always hated the Olympics. The Olympics get in the way of regular television programming and I am a creature of habit so that annoys me.** Also, I don't like sports. But I've found myself somewhat fascinated by them this year. Either Nate has them on or I put them on for Calvin (because I feel marginally better about him watching people achieve athletic glory over yet another episode of Jake and the Neverland Pirates), and then I walk by just as someone sticks a perfect landing or does 8,000 summersaults into a pool and then I kind of can't stop watching. Plus, those female gymnasts are incredible. So incredible that I may have cried a little bit watching them.

I guess maybe I don't really hate the Olympics. Which is a pretty major revelation after 33 years of thinking I do.

8. Nate and I cleaned out our basement two weekends ago in anticipation of our upcoming garage sale. Not entirely sure how we could possibly have enough stuff crammed into our meager 1,200 square feet to warrant an annual garage sale, but we do. I guess it could be all the shopping? Or all the kids? Anyway, if you need random unused baby crap (bottle warmer), picture frames of various shapes and sizes, copious amounts of toddler boys clothing, three martini glasses, nursing textbooks, a grandma-esque glider, a bag full of miscellaneous chargers, a camera that requires film, my 15-year-old college TV set, or really cute Pottery Barn Kids circus crib bedding, let me know. Also, our basement is now really organized and significantly closer to being bug free. I won't tell you how many times I screamed and yelled for Nate (or, more pathetically, Calvin) to squish something, but it was an embarrassing amount. Hundred-year-old houses have waaaay too many basement nooks and crannies and I'm pretty sure some of the insects we found down there were big enough to eat my baby.

I feel itchy.

9. This will surprise no one, I'm sure, but I've already started thinking about Audra's birthday party. First of all, I am a spaz. Second of all, there is no reasonable explanation for her being closer to one than she is to birth. None. Except some sort of time travel. Because I just had her. Like last week or something. Despite the fact that she is eating crackers and babbling and scooting backwards under things. Which I'm choosing to ignore for the moment because it makes me want to cry.

So, her birthday party. I have a few ideas in mind. And just enough time to be dangerous. Now that I have two kids and two parties to throw, I may as well make Etsy my homepage...

10. I finally signed up for Spotify. Why I didn't do this sooner, I do not know. Especially when Facebook has made it pretty clear that everyone but me is using it. And you know Facebook wouldn't lie. In fact, Facebook is dedicated to publicly exposing every little idiotic thing you do...like listen to the Dawson's Creek soundtrack on Spotify. Thank heavens for the "private session" option, which I have only recently discovered. 

Now, off to see if the Felicity soundtrack is available. My friend Gordon assures me it is.

*Aerosoles alone probably don't make me an old lady. Aerosoles and bunions, however, probably do.
**Just in case you couldn't tell from item #2 that I have a slight tv addiction.

Pom.

Where are all the cute hats? Last year we had so many options it was hard to pick just one (which is why we had three). This year we have this:




It wouldn't have been my first choice, but the kid needed a hat. And, let's face it: children don't care what they have on their heads.

Or do they?

Shame.

This morning I received an email from DSW with the subject line "Meet your new go-to shoes." I opened it expecting to see some drool-inducing pair of leopard print flats, only to find this:


How on earth did they know that there's nothing more appealing to me these days than a flat, neutral comfort sandal available in wide width?*

Oh, how the mighty fall.

Less than two years ago my go-to shoes would have been a pair of four inch heels. Heck, at 35 weeks pregnant I was still teetering around the office in three inch platform sandals. But now my go-to shoes look like this:


I never thought I would stoop so low as to purchase a pair of Crocs for myself. Even if they are hot pink ballet flats. But my goodness, they're comfortable. And practical, given all the time I spend chasing my kid around the house/yard/park.

Don't worry, though. I haven't worn them anywhere but my backyard and the grocery store.

Yet.

*Not those, though. Those are seriously heinous. Completely unlike my pink rubber shoes which are super cu...oh, forget it. They're heinous, too. I have officially chosen comfort over style. Mom jeans, here I come.

Glimpsing the future.

Nate took this picture of Calvin tonight. When I saw it, my jaw about hit the floor.

He looks...old.

I feel like I've been given a glimpse of what my son might look like down the road — as a first grader, a junior higher, a teenager. It both freaks me out and makes me smile.

He'll be cute when he's big.

And hopefully he'll still be into wearing polo shirts. Nothing I fear more than a goth phase. Except maybe a foray into socks with sandals.