I have always wanted to have a daughter. A blonde, curly-haired, giggly little thing who would love wearing dresses and having tea parties. A little girl who would rock her dolls to sleep in my childhood baby doll bed, dress up all the Barbies I saved for her, and devour all the Nancy Drew books I've collected since I was a kid.
I knew going into this there was very little chance of us having a girl. Nate is one of four boys; his dad is one of three. Breyers just always seem to be boys. But I held on to the hope that God knew how much I wanted a little girl, and that it would be mean to send us a little boy when He knows how much I love to shop. (It's a fact, boy clothes just aren't as cute.)
But then four of my college friends had girls right in a row — in October, November, December, January. And I just knew that was the end of the road for my dream of having a girl. There was no possible way that five of us would all have girls. The pink streak had to stop somewhere, and I knew it would end with me.
Maybe that's why I started dreaming about having a little boy. I dreamt about his baby blue nursery — everything from the pattern on his sheets to the pictures on his walls. I dreamt about him sitting on the couch with his daddy, watching football (we have yet to determine whether he will be a Vikings or Bears fan). I dreamt about him chasing Mattie around the yard, grabbing her tail and giggling. I never saw his face in any of these dreams, but I could see what our life would be like with him in it.
The more I thought about having a boy, the more excited I became. Of course, there was still part of me that longed for a girl. But as I drove up to the clinic on Friday, all I could think was - I don't care. Please God, I just want a healthy baby.
"A healthy baby" is what every newly pregnant woman says when someone asks "Are you hoping for a boy or a girl?" It's the pc answer to that question, because you know there are no guarantees that you'll make it through your first trimester, or that your baby will be born without any birth defects or disabilities. Being the loud-mouthed person I am, I had no qualms about saying "GIRL!" whenever someone asked me that question. But over the course of my pregnancy, my maternal instincts began to kick in. Before that ultrasound, you worry about EVERYTHING. I worried that I wasn't feeling the baby move enough. I worried that they would find markers for down syndrome or that the baby would be missing a limb. I worried that the baby would be inexplicably ill and unlikely to survive. All things I know have happened to other mothers — other women with perfectly healthy bodies who never thought for a second those things would happen to their baby. And so the desire to have a girl over a boy became a total non-issue. All I wanted was a healthy baby.
Which he is. Our baby boy is beautiful, and healthy, and growing just as he should (though a little on the chunky side, go figure). Nate and I are both out of our minds with excitement. The moment we saw our little man up on that screen, we fell in love. And everything became very real. This bulging stomach of mine is home to our son, a little boy we love with all of our hearts and cannot wait to meet. A little boy I wouldn't trade for all the curly-haired girls in the world.
Thank you, God, for our healthy little one.
These are pictures of pictures; the tech warned us not to make copies or scan them. So, this is the best I can do for now! The first is his cute little profile, in the second one his little hands are up by his face, and in the third one he has one arm up above his head.
8 comments:
he just needs to marry one of our girls :)--great entry, and so excited for the little man who will be the apple of our eyes. yippee for another mr. breyer!
I know exactly how you feel ;-) You are just going to love that little guy so much! I can't wait!
I'm totally crying right now. Love you. Great post. So excited to meet him!
Little girls have better clothes for sure, but there will come a day that your little boy will look at you and say, "Mommy, you're beautiful!" and all of the pink in the world will pale! I've also taught mine to say, "Mommy you're skinny." These things are important.
Congratulations on already falling in love with your little man.
Yeah for baby BOY Breyer! I am so excited your are having a boy! You will soon become the mom of a boy and won't know what to do with yourself should your next one be a girl! :) Although, I am not quite the shopping queen that you are...so maybe the adjustment is different for me?! :) I'm just so happy he is healthy and growing! I can tell from the pictures he is adorable already! It's just so cool to hear you talk about him the way you are...I hate to say it...but I will (ha ha)...I TOLD you so! :) Love you lots....you guys will be great parents...:) :)
Congrats Abby & Nate! So happy for you both. Keeping you in prayers for the rest of your pregnancy!
Love ya!
So excited for you Abby!! He will be perfect! :)
Jon, Kris, and myself are already fighting over who will be the coolest, awesomest, and proudest uncle. I am not sure, but I think it might be a tie. I absolutely can't wait to meet the little guy!
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