Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Humbling.

Yesterday was a tough one at our house. A sick child, an unexpected day at home during a very busy work week, and a hectic morning spent visiting urgent care, picking up my laptop from the office, and waiting for multiple prescriptions at Target.

I was tired and crabby. Calvin was tired and crabby and sick. We were quite the pair.

By the time we made our way from urgent care across town to my office and then back home to Target, Calvin was teetering on the edge. While we waited for his prescriptions, I tried to keep him entertained with my phone, my keys, his toy cars, his bear, a snack — I employed every tactic in my arsenal. But all he wanted to do was stand up in the cart, stand on the stool we were purchasing in the back of the cart, throw my keys, chew on the tube of toothpaste, and — once we picked up his prescriptions — try to open his eye drops. Which were not childproofed. Which I knew he would most likely empty onto the ground. Which cost me FIFTY DOLLARS.

I said no, and that led to the tantrum of the century. Shoes went flying, items from our cart went flying, he banged his head on the cart until his forehead was scraped and bleeding, and then he tried to climb out. All while screaming bloody murder and hitting me in the face.

I wanted to die. Right there, in the middle of Target. Just take me, Lord.

Instead, I picked him up football-style and carried him to the checkout under my arm. One kind man helped gather all the items Calvin had thrown as I struggled to hold onto Calvin and unload our cart. Another mother came up behind me in line, smiled sympathetically, and said "I have one of those at home." But the cashier stared at me unforgivingly, and other shoppers gave me The Look — the one that clearly says "Control your monster of a kid, lady. I shouldn't have to listen to that." I tried as hard as I could to hold my head up high as I checked out and carried my still-hysterical child out of Target, shoeless and screaming.

Poor baby. I knew he was tired. I knew he didn't feel well. I knew I was pushing my luck. But I also knew I had to get him to the doctor, I had to pick up work, and I had to get his prescription filled because otherwise we'd both have to stay home again today — putting me even further behind. I didn't have a choice.

After forcing my inconsolable child into his car seat, I shut the door and ran back to the cart return. The same man who had picked up our strewn-about items in the store was parked two cars over. I gave him a tired smile and a half wave, and he said "My son did that all the time when he was a toddler. He's 16 now, and he's a good kid. It's going to be okay."

I nearly started crying. The exact words I needed to hear at the exact time I needed to hear them. Heaven sent, delivered by a kind stranger.

Later in the day I relayed the morning's events to Nate, explaining how embarrassed I was and how terribly some of the other shoppers had looked at me. He asked, "Who does that? Who looks at someone going through that and judges them?"

And I said, "Me. Before I had kids."

Parenthood is nothing if not a constant lesson in humility.

11 comments:

Matt and Abby said...

Awww! I would have judged you too, before I had kids. I would have helped you today if I were in Target. The Lord sent that man to encourage you. I hope you have a better day and I hope Calvin feels better. Poor little guy. I would have thrown a tantrum too.

Katie said...

Thank the Lord for that kind man. Seriously. And you're right. I used to have a list for a book I was going to write one day about the words we eat when we become parents. Hello?!? I drive a minivan and I cried the entire first day Thomas went to Kindergarten. ;) You're an amazing mom and I'm in awe of your awesome ability to juggle work and home with such finesse. I hope today is better.

Vuong Family said...

Oh dear. I have done the football hold too- I think as parents you get really good at that. Today I told Jaxon if he didn't get his d*mn shoes on I was going to put him in the car without them and he wouldn't be able to go for a walk at daycare becuase he has no shoes. You do what you can ;-) HOpe Calvin didn't catch Fifth's Disease from Kiley??

Jaime Olson said...

Oh, Abs, I am nearly in tears on your behalf. Just over a week ago, I had a screaming child in the main aisle at Meijer rocking and screaming every time I came close enough to try and scoop up said child. Kicking, screaming, cart full of groceries that I was going to buy with or without the cooperation of my children, and 2 other kids. It was awful. A mom followed me out to my car, handed me the shoe that tantrum-child had flung out our minivan door while I was doing the forced carseat loading maneuver and said, "It's not always like this. My kids did that too. You're doing a good job and they'll grow out of it. They seem like really nice kids." I thanked her for being gracious and cried myself home. I'm glad you got some grace too!

Emily said...

I'm sitting at my desk crying as I read this. Hope Calvin is doing better today. It's amazing how our thoughts change post-children.

Unknown said...

I've been there, but I didn't have the kind stranger with the exact words I needed to hear. I was probably one of those who would judge parents before I had David. Not probably, I was.
You did good mamma! I hope that Calvin feels better soon.

Marion said...

The tantrum thing will get better. The humility thing, not so much. Lasts pretty much forever, even now. You poor babies--both of you.
You are doing a great job. Calvin is expressing his frustration and discomfort the only way he knows how. You'll love him through it, and he'll be fine. You are a great mom, doing the right thing for your child. From YOUR (humbled)Mom

Samantha said...

I feel for you Abs. And I have been there. It does get better.

the deKorne family said...

Yep. Every single one of us have done it. Everyone. Glad you had nice people around. And at least you weren't on an airplane and could escape. :) Love you, you're such a good mama!

The Moser Fam... said...

Love you and love the kind of mom you are...it just makes me smile to hear you talk about motherhood. :)

Mary said...

I teared up. I constantly have to carry Noah football style in order to prevent getting hit in the face. That's not right that those other shoppers gave you a look for that. But I hear you, I am pretty sure I was very judgemental before Noah too. So sorry you had a rough day :(

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